Necon Through the Eyes of a Virgin

If you live in the Northeast of the country then you heard a thunderous boom on July 15th. Your windows probably rattled, car alarms wailed, and dogs barked in the night. What you didn't hear was me giggling like a school girl while my Necon cherry was being popped. And it felt good.

Necon is like a friend with benefits. It's the best way to describe it. I say this because most conventions are straight forward in that you go, get your stuff signed, pictures are taken, and you talk to your favorite celebrity all but for a minute. There are too many fans that are competing for their time. Besides, other cons are more business oriented. Necon doesn't play that and it wasn't made to.

Necon has been around for thirty years now, and from its inception it was made for interaction among authors and fans alike; to hang with editors, artists, and publishers. A Con to get away from cons. And if you're a writer and you haven't been to Necon then you 'must' get to at least one in your writing lifetime.

So who are the people and celebs that I met and made quick friends with at Necon XXX? Yes, I said friends. What? You think famous authors are insecure and introverted souls who only think that their real friends exist on paper or in their heads? Well then read on my ass backwards bloke. Read on.

Jack Ketchum was the first person I saw but didn't speak to right away. In my mind you just don't interrupt him like some virgin at a porno convention and ejaculate your mumbled words all over him. But I learned later from talking to him that that's why I was there. Not to ejaculate on him but to talk to him. And not only did we talk but we were the only two males who skinny dipped in the bay. Although I did it during the day. ;) (Sorry Dallas had to say it. Also thanks for the great advice for my upcoming reading.)

Brian Keene has been a friend for some years now, and I never get tired of seeing him or hanging with him. He has the heart the size of a whiskey barrel. Seriously. No ego and always willing to share his knowledge. I'll leave you with one piece of advice when it comes to Brian: don't ask him to write another zombie novel! I say this because during Necon a fan of his asked him this very question. Not only was this poor fourteen year old strapped to the gazebo throughout the night but he was what Brian called 'saugied'. I shudder just trying to understand it.

Nate Kenyon is someone who I've been talking to through email and/or FB for quite some time. And even though this was our first face to face meeting, it felt like I've always known him. Our birthdays our one day apart, we both dig baseball (go bahstahn!), and we both have matching tattoos of the green Power Ranger on our asses. Ok, so I made that last part up but my point is is that he's a good friend and I'll always look forward to seeing him again.

Douglas Clegg, John Skipp, and Weston Ochse are three guys who I call Kool Kats. No. Not because when they're drunk they go around and rub up against your leg and purr. Although that would be nice. However, I did see John cleaning himself out in the grass. Not pretty but necessary, I guess. Weston is a guy who--if he wanted to--could rip your head off with his hands. He's a big guy. So don't fuck with me. Right Weston? Weston? Oh shit. :) Douglas is funny and has a sick mind just as I do, which is why I think we clicked without any awkwardness on my part. To be honest these three guys are some of the coolest dudes I've ever met and I look forward to talking to them once again and getting to know them even more.

Chris Golden has the voice of an angel and the looks of a fine country singer. Not only is he nice, handsome, and talented, but he's a guy that I could listen to for hours and hang on his every word. Chris is at the top and as a writer I'll climb as far as I have to just to learn from him. And as a friend I look forward to hanging with him and just listening to his sweet voice. (Does this mean I'm having a man crush? Hey, if it's Chris then by all means YES!)

What can one say about Joe Hill? I mean it's Joe Hill, right? But you know what? (Wow. Three questions in a row.) Joe Hill is one of the nicest guys I have ever met, and I mean that. He's a down-to-earth guy. I spent a bit of time talking to him and felt like I've known him before because that's how he rolls. I played hand wrastling with him (I have no idea what it's called but hand wrastling works) and lost, of course. But I will exact my revenge. I definitely look forward to seeing and talking with him again. (Now I gotta go and practice my hand wrastling.)

To Bob Booth and Dan Booth. Without your family's hard work and dedication Necon wouldn't be where it is today and I thank you all for the wonderful weekend. I shall return! And please don't take that as a threat. :)

Other awesome peeps that I met were F. Paul Wilson (the man just blows me away), Tom Monteleone (a gentleman to the Nth degree), James Roy Daley (one of my Canadian brothers), John Dixon (fellow SHU student), Will Prescott (new bud and fellow SHU alum. Freckle Bitches 4 Evah!), Alethea Kontis (The Princess of Necon!), Ron Dickie (always blame it on him), Kelli Owen (gives the best hugs), Bob Ford (wish he was my 'real' brother), Mary SanGiovanni (sweet as a Halloween treat), Linda Addison (fine as wine), Elizabeth Massie (watched me swim nude from afar. does that make her a perv?), Monica O'Rourke (didn't meet up this time but will next time), Nick Cato (brother from Brooklyn), Ginjer Buchanan (could talk to her all day. such a sweet person), Kelly Laymon (I wonder if she remembers me or Necon), Matt Bechtel (uber funny guy. He can roast me any day), Dan Keohane (plays the jug like no other), Philip Nutman (plays a mean monster/zombie), and Brett Savory (nice guy and a GREAT publisher) and so many others that I can't remember for the simple fact that it all went by too fast. A blur of a weekend.

A lot of my old pals were in attendance as well. R. Scott McCoy (brother in arms), Rio Youers (my other Canadian brother), Kevin Lucia (Loooooosha!), Thomas A. Erb (nude photographer), Scott Carr (fellow filmmaker and swimmer), and Danny Evarts (fellow swimmer and keeper of the Shroud).

I pray that I didn't forget anyone but as I said before it was a blur.

I had a great time and will convert myself to a born-again virgin just to have my cheery popped all over again.

Stay Evil,

Sheldon